Suckle Me, Succubus.
I was a mere acolyte, treading gingerly through my first fortnight in the blogosphere, when I was accosted by a menacing presence. I froze at the sight of its inscrutable hulking mass.
You were Cyberpolsters, clerics of the blog, a literate if unruly band with massive experience points and a flare for sexually-charged dialog. Clearly you had encountered trolls before, because you dispatched the slimy beast with aplomb.
The last time I'd heard any mention of trolls was ages ago in my prepubescence, long nights sifting through the Dungeons and Dragons Monster Manual. Therein one finds trolls described as "horrid carnivores" that "know no fear and attack unceasingly." The loathsome, ahem, "members of a troll have the ability to fight on even if severed from the body." Next time we see one we're supposed to burn it or immerse it in acid.
Among the hundreds of creatures "malevolent and benign" catalogued by the Monster Manual, Fiend Folio, and other D&D compendia, one was permanently emblazoned in my memory. She was the succubus.
My neighborhood Dungeon Master, a slightly older kid with an assertive creativity, would initiate the encounter. We wizards and fighters only had to hear the first few words – "naked, beautiful, woman" – and we suspected a succubus. We went giddy with both fear and desire. What young man could resist? Who could avert his gaze? A breast! Two! An imagined teardrop ass and shadows down below. Long locks, full lips, arched contours and … wings! Fucking wings! Do you understand the amorous implications of wings? Would they mean something medieval, something raw, some good hard fucking? Or would she just flutter and levitate, inches above your expectations? Lord help us.
She was compelling, but I wasn't old enough to know exactly how her parts and mine were supposed to work together. I certainly didn't understand the promise and the fraud. After all she was a devil, a hell-denizen, and when we found her in a game I think we just ran away scared.
Guys, I know I wasn't the only one who lingered too long on the succubus page while searching for data on shriekers and hell hounds. Girls, did you each have your incubus?