Monday, March 06, 2006

Out in L. A.

I just got here Saturday from New York. I'm staying with my older brother, his wife, and their three happy cats. Last night they invited friends over and we all watched the Academy Awards. We ate pizza, drank red wine, and sampled homemade fruit pie. Good people, good times. There was universal disappointment that "Crash" won Best Picture - most of the crowd felt it was too sentimental and poorly written. I didn't see it myself, did any of you guys?

Los Angeles is a wonderful place, really. Many New Yorkers tend to mistake Los Angelinos' approachability for superficiality. I did myself the first time I came to visit.

Here's a gross generalization: whereas New York is about the ambitious individual struggling to overcome, L. A. is about creative vision and collaboration. The critical "no" is rarely heard, of course, more typical is the "yes" that never calls back. But I guess I prefer the latter scenario because at least (I imagine) you get more time and support to develop an idea, whether you're a screenwriter, doing a treatment for a show or a film, or rehearsing a role.

My brother has set up a futon for me in his office, and sleeping there last night I was visited by Sabrina, a silver longhaired beauty. She crept up to me in the gloom, then stepped onto the comforter. She got closer, and as I lay as still as possible, she began to lick my face. I let her, then slowly turned around and presented the back of my head, which she started licking. The roughness of her tongue was such that I was worried I would lose some hair so I pushed her off gently. She kneaded, annoyed, then assumed an Egyptian pose In the darkness next to me. This has been a cool trip so far.

31 Thoughts:

Blogger Kyahgirl said...

Nope-I haven't seen it. But that's not unusual. I'm usually 2-3 years behind on the movies.

Sabrina sounds lovely.
Its funny, last week I was sleeping on the floor of my mom's office and my sister's cat, who is convinced I'm a cat murderer, was making overtures :-)

I've never been to L.A.either but did go to NYC last year for a perfume meet. I liked it.

Have a good visit.

Monday, March 06, 2006 1:44:00 PM  
Blogger Palmer said...

I liked Crash. Interesting that it's getting ripped. Might be that gayness is sexier than racism.

Enjoy the pussy while yer out there.

Still haven't caught Brokeback.

Always thought LA or Cali would be good for my health, bad for my soul, not sure why. Then again, living another 15 years with a slightly devalued soul is looking more and more appealing. Especially if it will lower my handicap.

Monday, March 06, 2006 4:56:00 PM  
Blogger Demotiki said...

Ros 1,

Are you planning to decamp to the land of camp? I have heard nice things about LA, specifically that you don't have to live in a shoebox and can afford to have a maid. However, I prefer the greys of Beantown or NYC to the oppressive pastels of the left coast. Still, I do love the sun. I think San Francisco might be more my speed, it's got that artsy, epicurian edge that I enjoy along with some cold and grey weather now and then to keep one on an even keel.

I am planning a trip to Saigon, Vietnam this summer, anyone want to tag along? It's sunny there.

Monday, March 06, 2006 9:50:00 PM  
Blogger Demotiki said...

P.S. I really like the new look, although I think it might be anti-semetic.

Monday, March 06, 2006 9:52:00 PM  
Anonymous kyahgirl said...

demo was that anti-semantic? anti-semitic? anti-sementic? pick one.

Monday, March 06, 2006 10:38:00 PM  
Blogger pawlr said...

Thanks for the thoughts you guys. I consider this site "pro-semite", "pro-semantic" AND "pro-semen". In fact, I think we're all pros here.

It rained yesterday but we went clothes shopping anyway. In exchange for way too much money, I got an armload of threads with which to pimp myself; later we had a little fashion show in the house. Fashion shows should be a weekly occurrence in any household, I think. Admiring minds is okay as far as it goes, but style is too often neglected, especially by grad students. After all, the world is where we do all our connecting, no matter how great the life of the mind is going. So why not be "approachable"? Fly your freak flags, people! DAMN. OK. Where was I? Oh yeah, shopping in the rain.

At one of the high-end stores, the salesgirl wore a headset, which made her seem powerful to me, so I asked her who she could raise on the thing. She told me she passes all sorts of secrets to the other females in the store about the customers, like who looks like a shoplifting threat. Then she eyed me critically. I didn't consider myself any sort of klepto up to that moment, but suddenly I felt trapped by a net of eyes. But it takes more than eyes to hold me. Go ahead, watch me all you want girls, I thought. I'll leave the accessories and steal your hearts instead.

Later she brought me some shoes I was interested in and we talked about her dance troupe. She seemed like a really intelligent, ambitious person. But she had that gleam in her eye which tells me ::danger will robinson:: In any case, when we were done chatting she took me over to the register and rang me up. I could tell she was a little bored because as I was paying she drifted over to the artfully cracked plate glass and stared out at the rain.

Later that night my brother cooked a tasty salmon dinner and we played some scrabble. I was contending at the end but got blown out when his wife busted us both with a bingo. Damn her.

More later guys.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 11:09:00 AM  
Anonymous kyahgirl said...

LOL-you're a goof.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 12:07:00 PM  
Blogger iBegToDither said...

Cyberpawls,

I'm trying to pick up on a few threads here. Let's see: shoplifting, headsets, a dance troupe, semen, and bingo.

Didn't we see that movie some years ago, on a foggy dawn in the Tenderloin of San Francisco? Or was it the lucid dream I had last night about our imminent collective voyage to Hades?

It's OK, it's alright, have your fun and pimp your fashion. Just don't do anything you'll regret in the New York morning. You wouldn't be the first Broolkyner to return from LA with his tail between his legs.

And another thing. Your initial observations about the relative ease of Angelinos should probably have mentioned the valium in the city's fabled water system. I'm sure they've told you about it by now.

All my love to Gidget!

Yours,
Laurel Canyon

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 1:00:00 PM  
Blogger brooklynmum said...

Ah, LaLa Land. Home of the 'plastic fantastics.' Can't say I'm a big fan. Love the climate, though like demotiki, prefer a change in seasons. I lost two perfectly beautiful cousins to the left coast only to have them both return with bleached blond hair and fake tits. What is the obsession with plastic surgery out there? I can understand if you’re ‘in the business’ and your career depends on looking a certain way. But it’s not limited to actors and wannabes- it’s everyone. Clearly living in a warmer climate means being more health and body conscience but seriously it’s not as if they don’t already have an advantage, being able to tan year round!

I’ll never be allowed to live there. My idea of health food is no sugar in my coffee.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 1:45:00 PM  
Blogger iBegToDither said...

Fake knockers (fockers?) look funny, feel funny, and never go to sleep. They're up at all hours, just staring into the night.

Medical prosthetics are a part of life. But Hollywood headlights are yet to be reconciled with sexiness in my mind.

I like a tit as much as the next person, but I prefer the animate class.

Apropos of breast, the Hooters in my hometown now has a kids' night. They're really pushing the family affair.

My previous hair stylist had some inflatables. She is very thin and statuesque and beautiful. One day, word has it, a boob of hers slipped and fell down her belly (on the inside). I'm not sure how that all works but supposedly she was like, Excuse me, I have to go to the doctor now. I'm sure it was fixed in a jiffy.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 3:10:00 PM  
Blogger pigletson said...

I lived in L.A. for about 4 months back in 2001. I look back on it wistfully now but I remember feeling very like a total outsider when I was there. I was born and bred in Boston and now reside in Brooklyn, so L.A. was about as foreign as you could get.

I disliked it for all the usual reasons: the smog, the fake tits, the vapid conversations, driving, Miyagi's on Sunset Boulevard. But still, I've got some pretty great memories. My friend came to visit me for a week. She's one of my good ol' "trouble" friends; an ex-riot grrl; a hipster snob. She's fantastic-- the perfect antidote for the land of bleach-blond bullshit. One night we somehow managed to get a designated driver for the two of us (another shitty thing about L.A.; having to worry about having a "ride"). We bought three dozen eggs and pelted the most posh, manicured section of Beverly Hills that we could find. We set off car alarms and woke up dogs with our tiny bombs. I know it sounds juvenile and probably not nearly as humorous as I thought it was, but it was some of the most fun I've ever had. The best part, though, came the next day-- we decided to buy a StarMap and go on a little tour. We pulled up to a big beautiful house that we recognized from the previous night's adventures and discovered that not only had we egged a celebrity's house, but we had egged Diana Ross' house. We got the Queen Bitch.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 3:38:00 PM  
Anonymous kyahgirl said...

see, now here is a cultural learning experience, just arising from your trip P.
I was aware that western Canadians and Eastern Canadians are divided by so much more than land; big diff! I guess I never really thought about the American East/West thing.
Probably because I have a perception that you have so many more people between east and west. Somehow I thought they'd blend more. Dumb of me.

I always get an education around this place :-)

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 6:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CALI is too plastic for me. NYC is REAL

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 6:38:00 PM  
Blogger SwiftSpot said...

Crash was awesome, definitely recommend that and "Hustle & Flow" - shedded the light on the real pimp life without the bling, pinstripe suits and limo full of ho's.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006 11:48:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This blog is ridiculous. Why don't you all actually get together in person and shoot the shit? Don't give me the geographical distance excuse. Multitudes of equally charming people live right near each of you, but your luck at finding them definitely won't improve while you're at home typing.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 2:42:00 AM  
Blogger pawlr said...

Hey males and females, I think this site has really hit a new milestone - our first troll is here! That's hot.

I wonder now, which is more ridiculous, the ridiculous themselves or the hayta that watches from the shadows and secretly wants in.

But if a troll wants to hook a brother up, send the charming ones you speak of over to us and we'll see who wins the charm-off. Who knows, maybe we'll all wind up on the floor laughing together?

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 10:03:00 AM  
Blogger pigletson said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 10:23:00 AM  
Blogger pigletson said...

Anonymous, teach me to be cool. Show me the way.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 10:31:00 AM  
Anonymous kyahgirl said...

Don't you feel like a proud papa? Our first troll. We've come of age.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 12:41:00 PM  
Blogger iBegToDither said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 1:14:00 PM  
Blogger iBegToDither said...

Maybe we should all be honest with ourselves and admit that the trollish intrusion was just distracting us from arriving at our most urgent point. I think I speak for the group when I say:

Pawl, please don't come back from Los Angeles with a shiny new set of bogus boobs. Unless that's what you really want. We're all pulling for you to make the right decision.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 1:16:00 PM  
Blogger brooklynmum said...

And if they are what you really want, we implore you, Find a real doctor - lest you end up on badplasticsurgery.com.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 1:43:00 PM  
Anonymous kyahgirl said...

oh god, what if he comes back with a super tan and bleached blond hair? It will be unbearable.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 5:51:00 PM  
Blogger pawlr said...

Implants and a good tan are probably not in the cards for me, but my brother does want to take me to a spa. I'll provide a full report if he ropes me in.

I'm worried though that I might be exfoliated - against my will and with extreme prejudice. My other fear is that a rogue masseuse will slip me a ruhypnol enema and I'll wind up rolfed into a gelatinous state.

OK, I hereby vow that if that happens I'll just relax and go with it.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006 8:51:00 PM  
Blogger Kyahgirl said...

definitely go to the spa! nice things can happen there. If you get chance to have a real therapeutic massage it can actually hurt quite a bit but it feels really good after.

Exfoliation is good, but don't let them near you with the wax! Leave that to the women-we're better at handling pain for beauty.

*runs away*

Thursday, March 09, 2006 10:33:00 AM  
Blogger pigletson said...

pawlr, i didn't understand all the spa hoopla until i visited one. they're marvelous. let them knead your body into putty. go with an open heart and asshole.

Thursday, March 09, 2006 10:43:00 AM  
Blogger iBegToDither said...

Yeah, and before you neg the wax, remember that it's not for you, it's for your sac(k)mates.

Hah! A double dog dare.

Thursday, March 09, 2006 11:47:00 AM  
Blogger pawlr said...

Ok we are on for the spa later today, I'll let you know how it goes. Funny you guys should mention wax - looking at myself in the mirror this morning I noticed that I have several tufts in places that might be better off hairless. I can take a little pain, as long as its less than, say, sitting down naked in a black vinyl-seated car that's been left in direct sunlight for 3 hours.

If it's more than that I'd be screaming "KELLY CLARKSON" like the 40-year old virgin.

Thursday, March 09, 2006 1:06:00 PM  
Blogger Kyahgirl said...

ok, that does it. Tomorrow we have to talk about hair.

Thursday, March 09, 2006 4:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

p..........
get the bikini wax-- I know you are going to like it! LOL

Thursday, March 09, 2006 7:02:00 PM  
Anonymous TPaine said...

Ross1 - good catching up w/you.

As promised, here's the link to the item they promoted to part of the front page 'Midday open thread' on DailyKos, so that was good - look for the second to last link on the DCCC (Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee) Exec. Dir John Lapp and Bloggers...it's actually still accessible on the main page, too.

Sunday, March 12, 2006 9:35:00 PM  

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