Monday, November 28, 2005

"The Mass Law of Conservation": New England State Goes Off the Deep End

DugMax, November 28, 2005--Another law has been passed by those libocrat secularists up in Massachusetts.

If a recently discovered ruling holds up, conservation extremists will limit the freedoms of those unfortunate enough not to have moved out of Taxachusetts in order to enforce conservation.

As far as we can tell from the PowerPoint slide we found in the trash outside our one-room office, here's the deal. (Please note the "mass" clearly noted at the top.) Along with innovations like same-sex marriage, if you live in Massachusetts, you can no longer freely create or destroy matter or energy! Try going to work tomorrow in Boston.

The law itself apparently has three facets. From now on, in the state of Massachusetts:

1. "Atoms are neither created nor destroyed in a chemical reaction."
2. "Atoms are simply rearranged in chemical reactions."
3. "Reactions are written so that the same number of atoms of each element are written on each side of the arrow."

Of course, you'd expect a Godless horde like Massachusetts citizens to use nature to enforce their secular and communistic beliefs. Note the passive voice "...are created...are destroyed...." I mean, come on, you think those atoms just self-created? Please; and they call themselves "reality-based." And the hubris of fallen man simply rearranging atoms? This will lead to many bad things.

Finally, the graceful coop (we don't use French here): Taxachusetts insists that each side of the stoichiometric equation have the same number of atoms of each element! If this isn't the worst example of an affirmative-action quota system yet seen, please e-mail me.

Amazing -- these crypto-socialists are extending the tentacles of government into the daily basis of life itself. Will the enviro-fascists stop at nothing to save their beloved spotted owls (or whatever)? No more human impact on the environment -- decreed by Massachusetts, the supposed birthplace of liberty. Talk about legislating from the bench!

The judge in this case, like former Democrat presidential "candidate," serial liar, and abject coward, Jean-Forbes Currie, is obviously of French extraction: one "Antoine Lavoisier," or so he styles himself. DugMax has not been able to find which court Tony La Voizer (we are cross checking that more likely name with mob activity in Boston over the past 200 years) actually presides, but since he's been on the bench since the colonial period, he may become the poster child for judicial term limits. We can't have these activists creating social legislation from the bench for life.

If there's one thing we've all learned from Bill Clinton's war in Iraq, any rational person now realizes that you can't create the reality you want by cherry-picking information wherever you find it and twisting it to match your policy.

We at DugMax live in fear that we have only uncovered the top of a vast left-wing conspiracy. You know what it is, and you'll know it when you see it, but this is only slide 3 of 24.

Call your church, congressman, or the State of Massachusetts today to stem the caustic effects of rampant materialism.

1 Thoughts:

Blogger Demotiki said...

I heard this law might be extended TO THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE!

Monday, November 28, 2005 1:01:00 PM  

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